Work again....

Start working again. Rest only two day after the shoe promoter job. This time I went to KLCC. I thought I have promise myself not to go into that brand anymore in my life. It give me so littel pay when I was a part-timer last year. Even thought I was very hard working, my pay didn't get raise as I thought it will. Start working at a unknown places is quite scary, everything I have to deal with it alone. Even when I'm in trouble, they will be no one be on myside. Eventhough I scare and unlike this kind of situation, working is still work. Unlike my other friend, they all work around sg wang, so every body is they. Wondering why am I so brave, dare to go to places which is so far and very inconvenien to start a new job. Working is not bad, didn't actually get bully by anyone. The only problem is stressing only, Wai Mun have advise me not to work there, but I insist to challenge my ability. I should have listen to her. The most difficult assinment I have is check stock and complite the report. Afterall, stress is stressing, job is job, thats always a task I need to complite.
That day, Nick ask me something that make me thing alot, he said, I don't think like people in my age. As he said he thought I wish to be like this, thinking is a torturing activity. People will ask like this for sure don't know me very well. People who really know me will know that I'm quite a no brain person, not like I don't have one. Is just I seldome use it, when I infront with the people who are really close with me. I will act as what I really am. My friend have said once that I agree the most, she said, all of us is force to put on a mask to avoid exposing ourself too much. It might get hurt in the reallity if you let the people know the true you. I been thinking alot since she tell me this, And the result is I agree with that. Without a knowlege, people now have lot of faces, diffrent faces when you be with diffrent people. Sometime myself cannot really identifie which one is the true me. But atleast, I didn't lie. I just hide certain feeling when I'm facing with certain people.
People usually like sunny people, Found out abot this when I'm first get into secondary school. Been trying my best to hide the unhappy feeling from friend, atleast from not so close friend. For them, this kind of feeling is annoying and troublesome. This fact is being prove when I be with kent, I'm not the kind of people will not do alot of thinking or like to be positive thinking. safety and confident is what I need the most, when I lack of it, I will start thinking a lot of nonsen. Been trying very hard to change this kind of bad attitude. Get scold by many people, but, me is still me. Like what I used to say, something is never change no matter what happend.
confusing and tiring. Wondering what will I do next..

Working...

Working is quite tired, and lot of things happend during I'm work. Got something new, sad or happy thing happend. Everything is diffrent when I am a secondary student. Now I have more thing to plan and more thing to decide. Future is now on my hand.
First of all, I will like to appologise to those people who have ask me where I work, I'm not telling you guys is because that is only a temporary job and I may not have time to chat with you when you are here, So the best thing I can do is kept it as a secret lo. Anyway I feel happy that people did come here to see me my steve koko and that guy. Things around me have change, but not me. Everything seems like still the same on me, I'm still that very emotional person, one minute very happy and the second minute can get very down and sad.
This work is tiring, but sometime is quite happy too. Working with other 7-8 people, I have make a lot of new friend. I doubt about my decision to work by myself on the first day I work, but actually it is not that difficult. Eventhought I'm still is the person who are not-many-people wnat to chat with de. Not sure whats worng with me, maybe I'm a damn too boring person, K thought like that when I'm free.
During the work have some funny and sad moment, I thing I will post that at the next post. This job will end at sunday, then I may go to other place to work as a full time promoter. It is a really difficult decision to make. Plus, I have to think about my education too. I wonder did I make a right decision when I decided to work for one year before I continue my study.
I want to move out. Since I'm a kid I cannot stand people fighting or quarel. Lately they both fight alot, even it is not all because of me, But I guess I have some responsible on this, Suddently jump into thier life.
Love is difficult, I saw people around me I know it. I have swear to myself once, I'm not going to fall in love again, But I can't kept it. Seeing my self growing in times, from a kid that like playing like random sex to more mature teenager. Now I think back, I feel quite sorry for my 1 and 2 ex, that was the young time when I can have a relationship with someone and have sex with other. I start getting bored of it when I grow older, one of the reason I because I'm no longer curious, second is very discusting to have sex with someone you dun like.
I used to worry how long will my relationship last, and belive on what forever love. The reality change me, even I can't help my self to think on the bad things and so on, I can make myself to enjoy every moment as it is the last second you will still together. By this way people will take it more serious, time is not a factor. Even I don't like that...
P/S: sorry for this a bit messy blog, to much to come out and donno wha to start first...