Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Work again....

Start working again. Rest only two day after the shoe promoter job. This time I went to KLCC. I thought I have promise myself not to go into that brand anymore in my life. It give me so littel pay when I was a part-timer last year. Even thought I was very hard working, my pay didn't get raise as I thought it will. Start working at a unknown places is quite scary, everything I have to deal with it alone. Even when I'm in trouble, they will be no one be on myside. Eventhough I scare and unlike this kind of situation, working is still work. Unlike my other friend, they all work around sg wang, so every body is they. Wondering why am I so brave, dare to go to places which is so far and very inconvenien to start a new job. Working is not bad, didn't actually get bully by anyone. The only problem is stressing only, Wai Mun have advise me not to work there, but I insist to challenge my ability. I should have listen to her. The most difficult assinment I have is check stock and complite the report. Afterall, stress is stressing, job is job, thats always a task I need to complite.
That day, Nick ask me something that make me thing alot, he said, I don't think like people in my age. As he said he thought I wish to be like this, thinking is a torturing activity. People will ask like this for sure don't know me very well. People who really know me will know that I'm quite a no brain person, not like I don't have one. Is just I seldome use it, when I infront with the people who are really close with me. I will act as what I really am. My friend have said once that I agree the most, she said, all of us is force to put on a mask to avoid exposing ourself too much. It might get hurt in the reallity if you let the people know the true you. I been thinking alot since she tell me this, And the result is I agree with that. Without a knowlege, people now have lot of faces, diffrent faces when you be with diffrent people. Sometime myself cannot really identifie which one is the true me. But atleast, I didn't lie. I just hide certain feeling when I'm facing with certain people.
People usually like sunny people, Found out abot this when I'm first get into secondary school. Been trying my best to hide the unhappy feeling from friend, atleast from not so close friend. For them, this kind of feeling is annoying and troublesome. This fact is being prove when I be with kent, I'm not the kind of people will not do alot of thinking or like to be positive thinking. safety and confident is what I need the most, when I lack of it, I will start thinking a lot of nonsen. Been trying very hard to change this kind of bad attitude. Get scold by many people, but, me is still me. Like what I used to say, something is never change no matter what happend.
confusing and tiring. Wondering what will I do next..

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