The lost world....

Lost... I'm sure almost everyone of us have this experience. Especially when we are a kid, it is not supprise that we will get lost in the bi9g big shopping complex. And this will slighly decrease the amount as we grow older. But, is that mean we never lost ourself anymore? No, we will still get lost, the diffrent is, this time you may never know that you are lost. I'm sure The lost world is quite a famous park among PLU, especially for those who live in k.l. It is a place where a lot of guy went and hang out at night, some even hunt for sex. I heard about this place when I start accepting myself as a PLU, alomst three years ago, but I just went there recently, and find out that it is acyually very cloudy there. I'm just wonder, are there really know what they want when there are there? Or they just curious about how is it to be aas PLU or have sex with guy? Who knows what there really up to? But I have spend a long time to accept myself on this matter. Since the first gay men I met, I have dissapear for quite a few time. Because I will wake up in one day and tell myself that, this is not my destiny. I do this when I have my first and second bf, and I broke up with them without a reasonable reason whenever I feel like I want to escape from the PLU circle.
I finnally get used with it and accepting the fact that this is what I am, and that is the time I finaly find my destination. My life bigger lost is end at that time, but this doesn't mean that I didn't lost myself after that. I nfind that whenever I fall in love with someone I will lost myself, sometime is spending to much time thinking off what he is doing and wondering shall I send him a message or give him a call, in the same time I have to worry if he think that I am annoying or disturbing him. So, love is really troublesome and complicated, just donno why I already know this fact still like to fall in love with people....
Sometiem we are lost when we get hurt, my biggest got sister. Getting hurt by a stupid guy 2 years ago. From that time onward, she come get herself to be serious in a relationship, worry that if she love too deep, she will once again expericen the pain she have tried to escape for a long long time. This is her excuse for herself to have relationship with so many people in one time. I wondering is this true that we have the right to hurt others after we have get hurt. Even we are lost, we shouldn't do anything that will hurt the thirt parties. Especially in love.
Untill now, my philosophy is still befaithfull and sincere in any relation we have to get in without a condition. Having a bf and having sex with other outside is what people do and is something I never agree with. Atleast not now....